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One particular song has caught my fancy of late.  So much so it’s been playing on the loop from my mobile phone’s memory.  To describe it in the simplest of terms: it’s upbeaty yet introspective in a dual kind of way.  I am talking about Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours” from his 2008 album “We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things”

Official Jason Mraz - I\’m Yours video   Below is the song’s lyrics.

Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but your so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks, now I’m tryin to get back
before the cool done run out I’ll be givin it my best test
and nothin’s gonna stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it’s again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won’t hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait
I’m yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you’re free
look into your heart and you’ll find love love love love
listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We’re just one big family
And it’s our godforsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

So, i won’t hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait i’m sure
there’s no need to complicate our time is short
this is our fate
I’m yours

Scooch on over closer, dear
And I will nibble your ear

I’ve been spendin’ way too long checkin’ my tongue in the mirror
and bendin’ over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
and so I drew a new face and I laughed
I guess what I’d be sayin’ is there ain’t no better reason
to rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
it’s what we aim to do
our name is our virtue

But I won’t hesitate no more,
no more it cannot wait
I’m yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you’re free
look into your heart and you will find that the sky is yours

so please don’t, please don’t, please don’t,
there’s no need to complicate,
Cause our time is short
This, this, this is our fate,

yes, that most joyous time of the year is just a few ticks away on our calendars.  what  better proof than the road traffic getting worse by the day. i think they call it the christmas rush. 

for what has been my family’s practice for four years now, we always start building on a festive atmosphere at home in late october.  doing this builds on a happy momentum  regardless of whether there’s penny to spend or not. over the weekend, we’ve brought out our christmas trees and trimmings from the stock room and have arranged them all over the house. every morning when i wake up, i almost always turn on a christmas album on the player while getting myself ready for work.  even at the office, i play some christmas tunes when i feel like taking a break from work.

and here are some of the favorites on my christmas list:

favorite song: the christmas song  (nat king cole version). listening to this song makes one wish it’s christmas forever.  this  song  is sentimental in a relaxing kind of way, even if i have never in my entire life actually seen a snow or the jackfrost that it talks about.   

favorite food: hamon. sometimes i feel a noche buena would not be complete without this.  skip all the other treats but not this please. hehehe

fondest christmas memory:  i think i was about eight years old then.  those were hard times for my family.  my birthday is a few days before christmas and because of the situation, i had no handa on my birthday.  i felt sad but that was nothing compared to the thought  that we shall be having nothing at all to feast on and share at noche buena.  beside the tree twigs my mother and i have made into our christmas tree, i uttered a fervent prayer for a miracle to happen: that somehow i’d find food served at noche buena. and a miracle did happen. to my surprise, the mailman arrived late in the afternoon of my birthday delivering a letter (with a few hundred dollars inside) from my lola in the u.s. since then, i have started believing in miracles and in the power of prayers. i swear i have started believing again in santa claus and in the magic that is christmas.          
 

"what’s a wise investment?," i have constantly been asking  myself of late.  not because i have money to spare but because i have gotten to that age where preparing for the future (i.e. retirement, education of the kids, etc.) has become imperative.  the life span of the average filipino is slightly over 60 years and i’ve reached midpoint.

should i invest in a doctorate degree? i don’t think that’s an option for me at the moment. one, i am not too enthusiastic about a back-to-school scenario. two, i feel a sense of selfishness in such a decision.  a ph.d. degree after all cannot last you very far; you take it with you to the grave. unless of course, i take on a teaching job.

should i start investing in a bigger house?  neither this appeals to me.  i love a small house.  it’s cozy ambiance provides for optimal interaction among the family members.  besides, when we grow older, a big house becomes burdensome to maintain and keep.

having a business of my own is more in the line of what a good investment is to me.  while it is risky under uncertain economic times (statistics say start-ups fail 90% of the time), the upside offers a proposition that’s perhaps too good to resist.

books are a good investment, too. so much so that i have started rekindling that old romance with them recently. a good book enriches the mind. while it may not offer you new knowledge or skills, it still gets you to ponder and imagine. lastly, books are something my wife and my kids can benefit from, today or in the future.

here’s are the titles of my latest readings:

1) blink: the power of thinking without thinking by malcolm gladwell
2) the rule of four by ian caldwell and dustin thomason

i’m now starting on "leaves of grass" by walt whitman. 

these days, i often get to feeling i have aged so much in the last couple of years. i’d particularly get these thoughts at the end of a tiring day or when problems seem to present themselves at every nook and corner of my ordinary, everyday life.   

then i’d feel overwhelmed about how there is so much left to accomplish, dreams and ambitions to be fulfilled, and travels and vacations to take and enjoy in so little a time. only when i think about that wise, old  "taking each day at a time" advice do i start calming down and relax.

         
and speaking of dreams. here’s what a friend (her name’s ma.elena cardinez - someone who i have always been very proud of) wrote on the subject matter in their graduation yearbook…

"dreams are not only for those who are asleep, it is for those who are awake too.  for not even dreams has soared beyond heights that the mind and soul has achieved. let your dreams die, and your soul dies with it."

very profound, those thoughts.

ignorance is bliss!

there’d been occasions when i would have gladly traded knowledge for ignorance. being in possession of information can be a burden.   

   

(note: because it’s been raining late afternoons in the past two days, i thought of writing this "rain" article)

there’s something romantic and magical about the rain or a drizzle.  always, in the aftermath of a heavy downpour or of a soft shower, one gets that refreshing feeling — much  like the afterglow of lovemaking.

and just maybe, that’s the reason why i fell in love with barcelona.

there was a light drizzle over the city on my first day of stay there. i flew in last week of march, primavera was just setting in, and cool, wet days were expected.  that however did not stop me from feeling a sense of nostalgia. it was as if the scene (which i captured for posterity) transported me back to my childhood days and to a treasure trove of rainy day memories…

when i was a kid, i remember looking forward to days when classes would be suspended due to an approaching typhoon.  on those days, we’d feast on rice, tuyo (dried fish), boiled camote tops, and a bowl of hot royco soup. fun and play time for us was watching from the window pane rainwater falling from the gutters of the house while spiders make their webs in the awnings or paper boat racing. such simple, innocent and youthful joys.      

rainy days in baguio is a different experience.  a heavy cloud of fog when it rains gives it a mystical appeal. it’s nirvana feeling the chilly mist brush against your cheeks in that brief moment before the first raindrop falls.

there’s something truly magical about the rain - how the world seems to be so clean; how the dust and pollution of everyday life (literally and figuratively) seem to have all been washed away.  try looking out your window after a rain and notice how the scene before you seems to be a totally different world. it’s as if the rose colored glasses from which you view the world has suddenly been replaced by a transparent one.   

rain is magic. i think it would be a rainy day when i die.

I’ve been living with a shadow overhead

I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed

I’ve been lonely for so long

Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on

I’ve been hidin’ all my hopes and dreams away

Just in case I have need of them again someday

I’ve been setting aside time

To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I wanna do is find my way back into love

I can’t make it through without a way back into love

Oohhhhhhh…

I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine

I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs

I know that it’s out there

There’s gotta be something for my soul somewhere

I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light

Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction

And I’m open to your suggestions

All I wanna do is find my way back into love

I can’t make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart again

I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh……….

There are moments when I don’t know if it’s real

Or if anybody feels the way I feel

I need inspiration, not just another negotiation

All I wanna do is find my way back into love

I can’t make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart to you

I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do

And if you help me to start again

You know that I’ll be there for you in the end

Ohhhhhh….

i have just finished reading paulo coelho’s new novel, the witch of portobello. it’s an engaging read.   

the novel follows the life story of athena (a lovely and enigmatic name which i, save for the last moment, almost gave my daughter sophia emily while processing her registration papers at the local hospital where she was born), as recounted by people whose paths crossed hers at one time or another –from her abandonment at the orphanage by her gypsy mother, to her adoption by her lebanese parents, to her family’s exile in london, to her experience of young love, to her search for her roots and self-enlightenment, and finally to her descent into oblivion.   

the book’s back cover says it’s "the kind of story that will transform the way readers think about love, passion, joy and sacrifice," and it does just that.

here’s a favorite quote from the book:  "love is not a habit, a commitment, or a debt. it isn’t what romantic songs tell us it is — love simply is… no definitions. love and don’t ask too many questions. just love." very powerful, those words.

unlike coelho’s other works, the twist at the concluding pages made for a perfect, unpredictable ending.      

   

a good weather on tuesday night last week, the 12th of june, provided just the right mood for reflection and introspection.  the stars decided to come out of their hiding place that night.  the leaves on the trees nearby were rustling and swaying to a cool evening breeze. even the sound of crickets i can hear from the distance.

as i looked up the sky, i caught glimpse of the faint streak of light coming from a passing jet.  i wondered where it’s headed for.  to some place called "paradise" or to some place unbearable called "hell", all depends on the circumstances of that journey.  to some of those aboard, maybe they’re heading for some place they’re visiting for the first time (a.k.a turistas). to others, maybe it’s work that’s bringing them there (a.k.a. overseas workers)

it’s truly amazing this life is. while i am about to call it a night, the dawn’s just about breaking in other parts of the world.  while i sit there thinking about the work i need to accomplish tomorrow, elsewhere in the planet there are others just coming home from a night of fun and partying. 

we all have different concerns, yes. and we all have different lives to live.  we all have different stories to tell. and the endings are never the same. life goes on. that is why it’s exciting, JUST TO BE ALIVE!!!    

over the weekend, my family and i left the house we’ve been renting for the past five years and moved into a bigger, albeit simple, abode of our own.

it was a physically draining actvity - having to pack and unpack all those stuff (most of them non-essentials) we have accumulated over the years.  but more than that, it was the feeling of dislocation that made this weekend activity a bit discomforting.

moving out is an emotion-laden task. it means leaving the environment you’ve become accustomed to and conversely, facing the challenge of adapting to a new one. it means leaving the roofs under which you’ve began building your dreams; shared good and bad times or activity-filled or lazy days with your family. it’s true the memories are here to stay but still there’s an unexplained sense of loss in having the physical things or places associated with those memories gone or simply left behind.

to my eldest son, it means leaving behind his best friend and playmate. so the last time he asked me if he’s still gonna see his best friend or if his best friend can probably regularly come drop by our new house to play with him, i felt his pain.    

so the next time i am to see on t.v. a demolition work by government authorities in some squatter shanties in the metro, i’ll have a better appreciation and understanding of their plight and why the so much emotion being captured and flashed on the boob tube.

i am thankful and glad the activity is over last weekend.